Heart Attack Grill

After finishing that Atomic! Burger at the Hard Rock cafe, I was actually too stuffed to eat that night and therefore replaced dinner with a crunch chocolate bar. However, something interesting happened that night. In this age of social media, I shared the Atomic! Burger’s picture on Facebook and one of my friend and colleague said that I must pay a visit to the Heart Attack Grill down at downtown Las Vegas. As I walked by it the night before on a night tour of Freemont street, I know exactly where this place is and went there for lunch the next day.

I’d say this is a rather interesting place and I started to wonder if I should focus on the food or the waitresses. The Heart Attack Grill is at its simplest terms, a burger joint. They sell you burgers, fries, onion rings, and all sorts of fatty things. On the menu, there is an option to order a burger with ten burger patties, stacked with cheese, tomato, lettuce, and chili. That’s a gigantic burger and I am not certain why someone would order that type of burgers to begin with.

The slogan of the place is, 350 lbs or high eat free. So at the front of the door, they have a scale for people to take that challenge on. If this was several years ago before I was diagnosed with sleep apnea, I can easily win that challenge. However, since my diagnoses, I have shed over 130 lbs along with a weekly gym routine. There is no way I can challenge this slogan and therefore didn’t even attempt it.

First person who greeted me as I walked in, was a young hostess, most likely in her late teens to early twenties, in a low cut nurse outfit welcoming me to the grill. Yep, this is a variation of hooters. She asked if I am okay with paying cash, as they only accepted cash. Of course I was okay with this, I came all this way from the strip to eat here based on a recommendation from a friend and there is no way I am walking out of there simply because they accept cash only. So she had me put on a garment, a gigantic bib which resembles a patient’s robe and sat me down at the end of a table. Another girl, this time I would say early to mid twenties, came up to me and introduced herself as ‘nurse [name which I have forgotten already, let’s call her Cindy]’. Cindy was dressed in a similar but more revealing outfit as she is bustier than the hostess.

To be honest, as a guy, this was like a fantasy come true. These girls dressed like they just came off of a pornography set where nurses was part of some teenage boy’s wet-dream. However, as a person in the educational side and a person who have some friends where their occupations are actual nurses, I find it to be a mockery to the occupation and wouldn’t dare to show these pictures to them (You know how strong nurses are? They can beat the crap out of you!). I am also realizing that I am having difficulties adjusting to the Vegas’ objectification of women and how women in Vegas allow themselves be treated. So for my entire stay at the Heart Attack Grill, I refrain from calling her with the title ‘nurse’ but rather just call her by her name.

When Cindy handed me the menu, she informed me that once I ordered, I must finish the food. If I don’t finish the food, she will have to spank me. RED ALERT! Masochism Alert! So that’s what Heart Attack Grill is about. Some guys who want to be flogged publicly can fulfill their desires of being spanked by a cute nurse.

Obviously, this is the blow-up version of the paddle they use. However, it is a nice gigantic replica from what I’ve seen. There were a few guys being spanked as I waited for my food to arrive.

The interior design of the place clearly have a medical theme to it. There are some real medical devices such as wheelchairs, but what I found interesting is the gigantic stethoscope hanging from the ceiling. One end is a light while the other are vents.

Or the medication container, which clearly states Vodka on it.

Another thing that caught my eye is the augmented posters in relations to the burger joint. They are actually pretty funny to read.
Some funny ones I’ve noted are: Burger Wars (Star Wars), Gone with the waistline (Gone with the Wind), Burger Nights (Boogie Nights), and many more, the owner or designer must have put a lot of thought into this.

 As I stared around trying to not focus on the cleavages moving about, just to prevent me from being called a pervert, my food arrived. Of all the things that can be bad for you in the menu, I placed an order for a single patty burger with onion, tomato, and cheese. Drink is a ice-cream blended slushee. I wouldn’t say they are the best burgers I have ever had, but definitely better than most other fast food places. 

Will I come back for a revisit? Well, it depends if I am still by myself or with someone. I took some pictures and taunted someone about this place, to my surprise, her answer was ‘Were they pretty? It isn’t just the bust size that matters, a pretty face is also required!’  ? Chinese girls.

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